Getting in Shape

It's been a while since I've posted for a couple of reasons. One, as this is still a new blog for me, I am not yet into the habit of posting to it! The other reason is that I have had a tough time emotionally lately as it pertains to fertility (or lack thereof). Two ladies at my TINY church just announced their pregnancies, bringing our church's pregnancy total to three. That may not sound like much but with only a few other women of child-bearing age at our church, it is a large percentage. To sum up my pity party, I kinda feel like the only woman at church who isn't pregnant.

Of course I am well aware that feeling sorry for myself is futile. So instead I just keep praying. Just keep praying. Just keep praying ;-)

In the meantime, it's time to work on my health. I have been overweight for most of my life and a yo-yo dieter since my teens. Lately, though, I've been learning a LOT about nutrition and I am discovering that to achieve optimal health, I have to do more than just lose weight. Instead, I have to be very conscious and deliberate about what I put into my body. I won't bore you with the details but I'm trying to reduce or remove the processed foods in my diet. Unfortunately, there are a lot more foods that are processed than you might realize. In any case, I figure that eating healthy will improve my overall health and might even improve my fertility. It certainly can't hurt.

Abbreviations and Fertility Terms

I realized as I was writing my last post that I had made a reference to a couple of things that might leave some folks scratching their heads. So for those of you not up to date on fertility terminology and Internet abbreviations, here is a handy guide.

• AF -- Aunt Flow, a euphemism for a woman's menstrual period. 
• BBT -- Basal Body Temperature is the lowest body temperature of the day and is usually taken immediately after waking. People who are trying to conceive may use a special basal body thermometer to measure this temperature. Recording these temperatures allows a women to determine when she ovulated during her cycle.
• BD -- Baby Dance, sexual intercourse in an attempt to get pregnant 
• BFN -- Big Fat Negative, a negative pregnancy test.
• BFP -- Big Fat Positive, a positive pregnancy test.
• DTD -- Do the Deed, sexual intercourse
• FMU -- First Morning Urine. It is usually recommended that women use their first urine of the day when testing for pregnancy.
• HPT -- Home Pregnancy Test
• OPK -- Ovulation Predictor Kit. This is a test, similar to a home pregnancy test, that detects the luteinizing hormone in a woman's urine. This hormone is highest just before ovulation and its elevated presence indicates that ovulation will take place within a day or two.
• SMU -- Second Morning Urine. Some women seem to get better results when using second morning urine to test for pregnancy. 
• TTC -- Trying To Conceive
• TWW -- Two Week Wait. This is the approximately two week period between the time a woman ovulated and the start of her next menstrual period.

Abandoning the BBT (for now)

I have been charting my temperature off and on for more than a year and for the last six months straight. There's nothing difficult about basal body temperature charting and it is a great way to learn more about your cycles. That being said, it can start to feel awfully clinical.

That's where I found myself this month. As I entered into a new cycle, I decided to try something new -- basically, doing nothing in regard to fertility. I'm not going to chart my temperature, I'm not going to use any ovulation predictor kits, and I'm going to let my husband lead as it pertains to "baby dancing."

This journey to having more children can be daunting and discouraging at times so maybe a break from it would be a good thing. Of course I'm hoping that doing nothing will result in pregnancy, but for now, I'm trying to just leave it in God's hands.

In the Beginning

Over in the sidebar is the condensed version of my husband's and my story. I'm going to expand on it just a little today. Michael and I met in 2005 on Match.com. I was 27 and he was 37. A month later, we went on our first date. Less than three months from the day we met, we were married by the justice of the peace on a random Friday afternoon. One month after that, I discovered I was pregnant. Whew! What a whirlwind!

By the time I had known Michael for a year, we were married, had bought a house, and had a newborn. It was the craziest thing I had ever done. But it was also the best.

Today, Michael is a computer guy. He works in IT. And that's about all I know about what he does for a living. As for me, I'm a wife and mom first and a writer second. God has blessed me with the opportunity to contribute a little to the family income by writing.

As I write this, I am 34 and Michael is 44. Our children are 5 (almost 6) and 3.

So there you have it--a brief history of how we came to be and who we are now.

By the way, Happy Valentine's Day!

Now For the Olives

So I quit the pill and fully expected to be holding a positive pregnancy test in my hands in just a few short weeks. The first month passed and then another and another and another. I wasn't getting pregnant.

Once again, I began to feel a stirring in my heart. God was speaking. This time, though, I was listening.

I began to fully realize and admit just how badly I had messed up by disobeying God. Through the Word and the Spirit, I saw how God views the gift of children. I quickly repented and vowed to never use birth control again.

One of the passages that really convicted me was Psalm 128:1-6 (NIV):

Blessed are all who fear the Lord,

   who walk in obedience to him.

You will eat the fruit of your labor;

   blessings and prosperity will be yours.

Your wife will be like a fruitful vine

   within your house;

your children will be like olive shoots

   around your table.

Yes, this will be the blessing

   for the man who fears the Lord.

After reading that for the first time, I had a sudden mental image of my own kitchen table surrounded by little olive trees (all of whom were clamoring to eat, by the way!). I knew then that this was what I needed to pray for.

So now, each day, I ask the Lord for olives. While I know my forgiveness is assured, there is no guarantee that He will give me more children. But I know that He can and I believe that He will. 

Now that you know the story of the olives, I hope you will come along with me on this journey to a house full of kids.

So I'll Get To the Olives Next Time

If you're reading my blog you may be wondering, who is this woman and why is she asking for olives? And what do olives have to do with a house full of kids, anyway?


I'm going to try to keep a long story short (which would work better if I left out useless prattle about keeping a long story short). Anyway, the story begins shortly after my second child was born. I was a stay-at-home mom with a two year old and a newborn and boy was I overwhelmed! With mountains of laundry, dishes piled high in the sink, and a kiddo in each arm, I couldn't imagine ever having more kids. So I did what I thought I was supposed to do and began taking the birth control pill.

At this time in my life, I was a Christian--a basic, run-of-the-mill Protestant who wasn't too radical in beliefs or actions. So taking the pill was nothing extraordinary and it was something I had done in the past without a second thought. This time, though, it would be different.

Shortly before starting the pill, I started having nagging thoughts about contraception. Was it Biblical? Was one kind more moral than another? After praying, polling all of my friends, talking to my husband, reading the Bible, and researching vigorously on the Internet, I came to the conclusion that God was trying to tell me something. Specifically, He didn't want me taking the pill. Sounds simple enough, right? I mean, if God speaks, you listen. Right?

Right?

Okay, so most people would have listened. I, on the other hand, began running scared. I ignored the nudging, quit reading on the topic, and stopped discussing it with my friends. And I started taking the pill. I kept taking it for two years until I decided that I was ready for more children.

By this time I had managed to put out of my mind the fact that I had disobeyed God for the last 24 months. And, silly me, I expected to conceive immediately after stopping the pill. After all, my first two children were conceived immediately. Why would this time be any different?

I'm going to stop at this point in the story but I'll pick back up here tomorrow. And I promise to tell you all about the olives. :-)